There are men who like...gasp...fat women???

I guess the Universe thought that I needed steam coming out my ears today. Here is an article in the Village Voice about PERVERTS who like...shudder....FAT WOMEN!!!!

In actuality, the article states that the "regular" men whose partners happened to be (gasp) fat did not identify as chubby chasers. But there's still that message of "why would a skinny dude date a (blech) fat chick???"

I said this on the Facebook page that linked to the article:

Um...shocker here! Fat women are people too! And some people like them. However, as a fat woman, I was always pissed off by "chubby chasers" the same way a woman with big breasts might be pissed off by a man who was only interested in her for her chest. I didn't think I'd ever get married again, but I did--to a guy who liked me for ME, not because he was obsessed with a particular type of physique. We were friends for a number of years before we became more and he had dated women of all different sizes and types including a supermodel-looking woman. Articles like this annoy me. We are all human, regardless of size or body type.

And here was my comment on the article itself:

Huh--imagine the idea that a guy might meet a woman who HAPPENED to be fat and he might decide that he likes her as a person. Gee, that's pretty damn radical right there!
I am a plus-sized woman married to an average-size man, whom I was friends with for a number of years before we became more than friends. He has never cared about a person's size. He dated a variety of women of different body types--including a supermodel type--before he and I realized we belonged together. Guess what he liked best about me--my personality. Now, there's a shocking notion!
This society is way too concerned with what is supposed to be "sexy." We are very superficial, and it's very sad.

The Beauty Privilege Has Its Drawbacks

Read here about why the beauty privilege isn't all privilege.

And then there's something that I can't figure out.

I'm not beautiful and never have been, but all of my life I've had guys (even guys with attractive girlfriends) hit on me and women get jealous of me and accuse me of being stuck up. I've never understood that because I'm very humble and shy by nature. I think that guys tend to be drawn to me because I'm sisterly and non-threatening. My husband says that there is something "special" about me and people are drawn to that. My brother says I'm "charismatic." At any rate it is confusing because I'm not pretty. I'm heavy and have a plain face. So this reaction she's getting may not be entirely about looks. I don't know. People are strange.

Long Time No See

I haven't done any social networking or even worked on my story in almost two months. I got really worn down and then ended up getting sick and depressed. I decided to hold off on my final semester of nursing school and just take an online course instead. Instead I'm focusing on being supportive of my son while he goes through paramedic training. He says it helps to have someone help him study. Husband is actually a better source though because he trained and worked as an EMT early on after immigrating here.

Sometimes things come back and bite you on the ass no matter how much your life improves. I realize that I'm still very insecure. I started questioning what made me think I had any kind of talent for writing, and wondering who reads erotica anyway. And then I find myself wondering always what a handsome, slender guy like my husband sees in an old fat chick like me. I started getting paranoid to the point where I was thinking he must be looking around by now--after all, he dated this supermodel looking girl before we were together. He laughed it off, reminding me that surely since I work in the hospital too I must know that people don't actually make out in supply closets or unoccupied gurneys or beds like on E.R. or Gray's Anatomy. (I did know a couple who ended up making it on a slab down in the morgue once, no joke. Not for me! Laughed my ass off when they told me, though.) Still, I know it bothers him a bit when I start getting paranoid like this. I can't let it screw things up for me.

I'm going to try working on my story even though I still feel insecure about it. I've written this stuff all along for myself but doing it with intent to publish is something else entirely.