Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Really Dumb News

Stop the presses! This is much more important than the war in the Middle East, the earthquake in Japan, or any of that trivia. The Dumb Blog reports that:
1) Rihanna wants to spank Britney Spears
2) Some pervert convinced a bunch of vulnerable women that having sex with him was a good idea because orgasms lead to weight loss. Of course in his case having sex with him probably led to bulima, hence pounds lost from copious vomiting.
3) There is now bacon scented perfume. I'm gonna hurry out and buy me a gallon of this stuff!

Here is my further wisdom on these world-changing issues.

Yep, this thought of Rihanna's is the real deal, just like the Britney Spears/Madonna kiss was not calculated to sell albums/concert tickets. It's soooo hawt. (Rolls eyes.)
I'd say that if having an orgasm burns calories one would be better off masturbating than having sex with this skeevy pervert. Masturbation would be more likely to lead to orgasm and far, far less likely to result in social disease.
Why buy a cologne that smells like bacon? Simply eat bacon, then touch other parts of your body! It's a lot cheaper.