Tuesday, December 22, 2009

$5 for $10 Worth of Tea and Sweets at Seven Cups Tea House Boulder -

Jacob graduated high school with honors and great memories of having schooled all the boys' sports teams and several of the male teachers.

When he turned 18 all bets were off and he schooled his 38 year old math teacher, Mr. Wiucon. Mr. W declared Jay his best student ever.

Jacob was very careful to avoid causing scandal when he was in high school even though a couple of the young teachers were looking him over.

All the young girls might have loved Alice, but all the young guys loved Jake. Jacob was a happy guy. Unlike Alice, his life was not sad.

Jacob's favorite musician was Elton John, and his favorite song was All The Girls Love Alice. It made him think of his own life in a way.

Faith the Two-Legged Dog Turns Seven This Christmas - Paw Nation

During his junior high and high school years, Jacob had many conquests. He never had to learn from movies or books. He just knew what to do.

The fact that I must be non-explicit is a challenge and, I think, makes for a more humorous story.

FYI, this is not intended to promote underage sex. It's humor intended to illustrate what an ultra stud Jacob was, even when very young.

Jacob didn't know if Xabier remembered anything he learned at school, but he was sure that Xabier remembered everything that Jacob taught.

When Jacob was 12, his family took in a Spanish exchange student, Xabier Berto. Xabier was 17. But he was naive, and Jacob was a natural.

Even though Jochem was the elder, Jacob was the one in control. There was mostly hand play but Jay made Joe beg for more. He was a natural.

Jacob Nagel was truly a stud. His sex life had started at the age of 11. His first conquest had been a close chum, 12 year old Jochem Sachs.

All right, I'm challenging myself. I'm going to write an erotica twitternovel. No explicit descriptions. It will be a spoof, real silly.

I want to write a twitternovel. It sounds fun! But how could I without using explicit descriptions? I write erotica and porn not romance.

People have been writing Twitter novels? (Twitnovels?) Cool! but I'm afraid that what I write (#erotica) would get me kicked off Twitter. Cross-posted my MySpace blog post to my Blogger blog.

A Slice of My Life

Cross-posted from my MySpace blog.

December 13, 2009 - Sunday 

Current mood:  pensive
Category: Life
I tend to be a pretty private person so writing about my own feelings is a stretch. I've studied psychology (worked as a psych aide for seven years) and journaling is supposed to help a person figure things out. Well, since I can't afford a shrink, I suppose that may be what I'm doing here, though the intent of this profile is really to help me promote my creative work.

I come from a somewhat dysfunctional family, though neither of my parents were physically abusive. I don't consider an occasional spanking to be abuse, particularly in the time I was raised. My parents weren't sexually abusive either, and they weren't alcoholics or drug addicts. However, from my father's large German and Russian family and my mother's side of the family (mostly German ancestry as well) I learned to love food early on, and I still do. I quit smoking (twice!) with no withdrawal problems. I rarely drink any more although I did used to be quite a "party animal." But food is another story.

I developed an eating disorder at thirteen when I started making myself throw up because I could no longer fit into my tiny Size 1 pants. It's ridiculous that a girl should expect that this would be a final size for her. My hips were far from finishing their development. But I was terribly upset and, believing that I was getting fat, I began puking after eating dinner. This went on for the next eight years until I became pregnant with my first daughter.

I had a horrible pregnancy, gained a lot of weight, most of it due to ballooning up with fluid from pre-eclampsia. My labor had to be induced and I ended up having an emergency cesarean section. It was hard for me to even begin exercising for a good six months afterwards. I lost the weight slowly. Married another eight years, two more kids--a son and a daughter--and meanwhile my marriage went to hell. Though the divorce was amicable and my ex husband and I were really better off apart because all we ever did was fight at that point, I felt incomplete without a man.

It was three years before I ever started dating again, simply because of having to pull my life together and get a job. I had been a housewife, picking up a little part time temp work here and there. I went on food stamps, got my CNA license, and started working in a nursing home. I ended up injuring my back pretty early on. Nursing home work is pretty much hell. I decided to get an emergency medical technician license so hospitals would take me seriously because they tend to want nothing to do with someone who has been working in nursing homes. At the same time as I was trying to get my life together I was trying to find a partner and was looking in all the wrong places for all the wrong guys. I think I went through the same stupid thing that a lot of people from a kind of fucked up family do. I looked for guys that needed fixing and as I was abused physically and mentally, exposing my kids to dangers that it really upsets me to think about, I became more and more bitter. Between bad relationships I would console myself with food and then a few months later start struggling to lose the weight. The older I get the more difficult the losing part becomes. I have also discovered that I have hypothyroidism, which tends to make weight loss difficult. It also contributes to feelings of depression. Well--at least there's an explanation. I really can't tolerate the side effects of either antidepressants or thyroid medication. I've found that extra B vitamins, vitamin D, and a natural thyroid supplement that doesn't contain the Thyroxin hormone have helped.

After a couple years not dating at all and becoming frustrated with my inability to get a job in either a hospital or on an ambulance (I was told by the person who interviewed me for the ambulance service that my personality was not aggressive enough although my skills were excellent) I left the health care profession for a while to work at a night club where I made the mistake of getting involved with one of the other bartenders, who was much older than me. Although he wasn't physically abusive he was one of the most manipulative people I have ever met. He was sweet as could be when he wanted me to help him with something but other than that was cold. After a night where I was down on my knees literally begging this bastard for a modicum of attention, and literally considering suicide when I finally left in tears, I decided that enough was enough. I quit my job at the club, got a job at another nursing home, and sunk into depression. I turned to my old friend food during this time.

I was lucky enough to finally land a position at the hospital in 2001, which raised my spirits considerably. I worked whatever shift they gave me on whatever floor, and I did it happily. During this time I was lucky enough to meet the man who would later become my husband, although I certainly wasn't looking, and neither was he. He is an emergency room nurse and a former paramedic, a Norwegian immigrant who came to the U.S. twenty years ago with his brother and sister. He had a great sense of humor and never pressured me in any way. Our relationship went from friendship to romance very slowly, literally taking three years before he ever mentioned having more than platonic feelings for me. His revelation literally shocked me. I am not young or pretty and by then I had gained 100 pounds since leaving the nightclub job. My crazy schedule didn't allow for exercise, and, although I wasn't eating for comfort as much, I literally wasn't thinking about what I was eating. I was always eating on the run.

My initial thought was that Nils wanted a green card and saw a sucker in the middle-aged fat lady. This, of course, is ridiculous. He is a naturalized citizen. I then began to think he was a "chubby chaser," a concept which disgusts me as much as guys who only date skinny women or women with large breasts disgust me. But thinking about it, during the time I had known and befriended him, he had dated several women of different sizes. None of these relationships had ever gone anywhere. He said that his schedule tended to drive away potential love interests.

When asked what the hell he could possibly see in me, he responded that he found me kind and smart and funny and beautiful. I can only hope that his optometrist is never able to correct his vision so he sees the truth about my appearance and that no shrink ever helps him see the truth about his delusions. He has been tremendously supportive of me, encouraging me to go back to school and get my nursing license and encouraging me to start taking my writing seriously. If not for him, I never would have done either.

Any problems in the romantic aspect of our relationship are caused by my discomfort with my appearance. I tend to want the lights off when things become amorous. He tells me that since he isn't a cat he can't see very well in the dark and prefers that I keep them on. I don't really know why he'd want to see what's there, even if he does like my personality. I see something horribly ugly. A fat, plain woman--265 pounds of flesh. I am strong and I am, for the most part, healthy. No shortness of breath, no high blood pressure, no Type II diabetes, normal cholesterol. I can move quickly. But pretty I'm not. My body has gotten way bigger than I'd ever want it to. And although I'm trying to manage my weight, it is, in fact, a difficult process. It isn't just a matter of suddenly, magically, eating less and exercising more. It takes time to change a lifetime of bad habits.

Once when I was particularly upset about my appearance, Nils asked me to write an objective description of him. He is, in my eyes, the most beautiful human being, but his request taught me a lesson. This is my Adonis, described from a purely objective view.
Tall, slim, ruddy complexion, short, very blond hair, receding hairline. Blue-green eyes, light eyebrows and eyelashes. Prominent nose. Ears that stick out slightly. Decidedly knobby knees. Has trouble finding pants that stay up over his almost non-existent tush.
But most of all, has the greatest smile ever.
This just happens to be a description of the perfect man.

His point was that real beauty is in the soul, not the body. And in truth, I've never seen myself as beautiful, even when I was thinner. My outsides can't determine my inner worth. I hope that one day there will be a bit less of me. But even if there isn't, I need to appreciate the qualities that make me the kind of person that others like. Those qualities matter far more than a perfect body.

Friday, December 18, 2009

I think a Klout score of 6 means that I am a fluffy bunny. ;) Don't much care, just thought it would be fun to see! Signed up for as a lark. Tells what your influence is. I'm sure mine registers as a joke!

I'm working tonight, BTW, so I have an excuse to be chowing down at midnight!

Live in Lafayette/Louisville Longmont or Loveland Colorado? Text "digin" to 41513 to get deals at Silver Mine Subs. YUM! Was my midnite meal

Get to work, Aurora. Not being paid to sit around writing--yet! Break time is over! Set up to include my blog. Will see how I end up liking. Like for status updates unsure for blog

I have 8363 words in my manuscript. I'm following NaNo word counts but not being as strict with daily writing schedule.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Adult Friend Finder and Me

A friend who does affiliate marketing suggested I should "monetize" my blog. I don't know the first thing about it, but she suggested I should set up an Adult Friend Finder banner at the bottom of my blog to start. I'm not sure I really want to do the whole webmistress thing, but I also figure this can't hurt. Most adult sites seem to advertise Adult Friend Finder.
So I'm now an affiliate. I'm not claiming I'm some kind of expert because I'm not at all, but I guess if you are thinking of setting up an adult blog or website, it can't hurt you to be an affiliate for them, and if someone actually clicks on it we make a little money. So if you want to be an affiliate too, you can click here. Since it doesn't cost anything to join, it can't hurt. I'm sure as hell not about to join anything where I have to pay to advertise them!
My friend also said I should put at least three links to Adult Friend Finder in my post. I guess that helps the "bots" to "spider" the site, or something like that. Man, if I want to feel dumb, I'll start trying to tell people about how to be an e commerce guru! Because I don't know jack shit about it! I sound like Beavis and Butthead trying to explain it. "So, like, you should have, like, three links, or something. Because then, like, the bots will put spiders on your page and stuff." Beavis and Butthead would probably be as good at internet marketing as I am!
Well, that banner is probably my big excursion into e-commerce. I don't know if I'll even ever set up a website except for this blog! Maybe we'll see once I actually finish my book and get it published. I don't know the first thing about building a website and I really don't want to pay anybody a lot of money to build one for something I don't even know will sell.
But I guess now I'm a professional adult web mistress--I have an Adult Friend Finder banner, the badge of adult sites on the internet! ;-)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Changes Again

A story, especially in its early stages, must remain dynamic. And don't I sound like such the expert? I would never make such a claim. A rank amateur when it comes to exposure as a writer. But I have been writing all my life and I know that when I adhere to too many rules my writing becomes stagnant.
My story is now sci-fi, and the premise is that a race of alien psychic vampires are using the thoughts of the weaker human race to sustain them. The sisters are trying to figure out how to defeat this enemy. There are other twists, but hopefully I will one day have a book, and then anyone interested can read all about it!
Having participated in NaNoWriMo once (under a different name) I have learned that the best way to get a novel written is simply to WRITE every day. Even if most of what comes out is crap sometimes, there will be far more of value than you might think. Aim for 1667 words a day. If you are a writer and have never done NaNoWriMo, you should. You will learn valuable lessons, I guarantee it!
In other news, I've started a MySpace account, if anyone cares to "friend" me there!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Working Hard!

I'm excited to have found a potential publisher once I actually have a book together. I've decided to make my tale a modern Gothic mystery in the vein of V.C. Andrews, but more explicit. I just love those cheesy old V.C. Andrews tales! It's a difficult thing because such stories often include an element of perversion, including incest. I do understand why most publishers don't want to touch explicit incest, especially if it is between parent and child. I do not believe that incest between parent and child can ever be truly consensual, even if both are adults. There is always an element of power over in such a relationship. I truly cannot understand how a parent could engage in such a relationship with their child. I am astounded by what Mackenzie Phillips revealed regarding her father. I love those old Mamas and Papas songs, but they are somewhat tainted for me now, knowing what John Phillips coerced his vulnerable daughter into.
In my story, the sisters, Flora and Fawna (yes, cheesy!) have a long-standing consensual sexual relationship. Freud might have a field day with me for my being inspired to write such a thing, but I might just baffle him as much as I baffle myself. I do have a sister. I would not want to have sex with her any more than I would want to have sex with my brother. I truly think this choice of subject matter is a way of dealing with having been molested by female peers during my childhood. I do not feel sexual desire for my sister or any of my female cousins. I do not look at other women in the locker room or such and feel sexual desire. But I can get aroused watching lesbian porn.
I believe that for all women the idea of a sister is someone that we can trust implicitly and if we have been harmed sexually, the sister, be she real or a part of our own psyche, may be the one person we think we could trust in that fashion. I have not had many people in my life that I felt I could trust, so this may be my inspiration.
Fortunately my man has not branded me a pervert and is supportive of my creation of this novel. I hope it will be a fun and interesting story and although it will contain explicit sex, that will not be its sole reason for existing. I hope to add plenty of mystery, intrigue, and a supernatural twist as well.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Erotic Authors and Writing Under a Pen Name

This wonderful article by Sebastian Wallace is worth sharing!

Erotic Authors and Writing Under a Pen Name

Author: Sebastian Wallace
So you’re an author (or an aspiring author) who has an interest in writing erotic fiction. But many authors worry about using their real name when penning erotic pieces, for several reasons. Several famous authors who at one point, sooner or later in their careers, wrote erotica chose a pen name, including Harlan Ellison and Anne Rice. Some, like David Sedaris, write erotica under their own name.

However, the fact that it is known that these authors wrote erotica has a lot to do with their current day popularity. If you are considering using a pen name, be aware that it is not only acceptable but also the general practice. For many authors, the pen name is akin to the stage name; despite the lofty cerebral aspirations of writing, a lot of writing success is still based on marketing. While writers often wish that people did not judge a book by its cover, the truth is, we all do. We judge two hour movies based on thirty second trailers, and we remember actors’ names based on their catchiness. Authors are unfortunately, not immune to this, and choosing a pen name when writing erotica is actually an opportunity to start marketing before the book is even written.

However, there are many other reasons to consider when deciding if you should use a pen name.

First, there is separation between your real life and your written works. Many erotic fiction writers are women; and like it or not, some people cannot separate fantasy from reality, and thus a woman who writes erotic fiction might be thought of a sexually available and exhibitionist when is isn’t true. It’s sort of the same issue with the actors on the Sopranos – many people actually believe they are gangsters, not thespians. Actors who are well known for recurring villain roles have many stories of being reprimanded on the street by fans that could not separate the fact that the actor was not the character.

Thus, it is beyond mere prudishness that someone might choose to employ a pen name. It can be a method of separation between an author’s real life and the written word. Stephen King has stated that in the books he’s written which reveal details of his life, he has changed details and street names to prevent people from invading too much of his privacy. Men who write erotica might not face the same exact issues as female authors, but there is more than enough reason to create a veil of secrecy around your life. Be aware that writing under a pen name does not mean you can’t do radio interviews or podcasts, any more than an actor would. However, if your writing career advances to a point where you are as popular as say, Dean Koontz. You might want to consider changing your tactics then.

Another reason to use a pen name is because some authors may want to try different styles, and sell to different genres. A writer of romance may want to tackle fetish erotica, but may want to establish two distinct pen names to do so; authors are also artists, and often like to experiment, and it is easier to do so if readers are not aware of an author’s existing works. I suspect that the reverse is true for aforementioned authors such as Anne Rice, whose erotica probably remains a consistent back list seller simply because of her current day notoriety.

As an editor, I am often asked by new authors (or, at least new to erotic fiction), about using a pen name and they often express anxiety that the publisher will use their real name. They envision a racy title finding its way to the bookshelves with their real name plastered all over it, and they imagine the mortification they would feel if everyone they knew suddenly saw it. While this is a most unlikely scenario, I must state that no serious publisher would ever use an author’s name if the author did not want to, and that publishers of erotic fiction are more than aware that many authors want to use pen names. If you are paranoid, ask for a line or two in the contract about which pen name will be used and that your real name never be used without your written permission.

Also be aware that even if you write a best-selling erotica book, your name is not likely to be all over the New York Times best seller list and your name is not likely unique. A quick visit to the web site reveals that there are 221 people in the United States named Anne Rice and 1,563 people with the name Stephen King. There are even 19 people named William Shakespeare. The point is, just because it’s your name doesn’t mean people all over the world will even know it’s you. If it makes you feel better to use a pen name, do so, but also realize that it’s probably more for your mental awareness than anyone else’s.

Now one thing I personally recommend to authors is make sure that your contracts with any publisher list your real name, not just your pen name. Contracts should list both if desired, but the rights established and the length of the contract is assigned to you. There is some legal wrangling that can be done in many cases to get your rights when it is not accurately represented in the contract, but why worry about that? Get it in writing right up front. One publisher I work with, Sensorotika Press, has told me on several occasions that most authors never really look at their contracts, and that even though the publisher attempts to create fair, thoroughly defined contracts, authors constantly return to ask questions long after the contract is in place and in effect. The issue of authors and their contracts is too much for this article, but as it pertains to your pseudonym, this is a business for both the publisher and the author, and if the author feels more security having their pen name and the like in writing, then they should say so.
About the Author:
Sebastion Wallace is a freelance author and contributing editor for erotic fiction publisher Sensorotika Press. Recent works include contributions to Erotika: Bedtime Stories and the upcoming Sweet Tea & You.
Article Source: - Erotic Authors and Writing Under a Pen Name

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Welcome to Once Upon a Desire, the official blog for Aurora Hylton. I am an aspiring writer of erotic fiction. It is hard to find a market for truly explicit sex stories. My work is not violent and not degrading, but I do sometimes write about controversial topics such as incest between same-sex siblings. I have some training in psychology and the question about how such a relationship could occur fascinates me. I do not write about opposite sex incest as I find it repulsive. Perhaps this is because I have a brother and could not imagine ever having sex with my own brother. I also think that incest between parent and child is wrong at any age. Perhaps the idea of same sex sibling incest is less repulsive because the relationship tends to be more equal and because it could never result in pregnancy. There are reasons why incest tends to be off-putting on an instinctual level. There tend to be congenital abnormalities in children who are the product of incest.
As such, it is hard for my work to find a market. Most publishers have a specific no-incest clause. I did work briefly in publishing erotica with a now-defunct website in the early 1990's and many of the submissions we got were pretty nauseating. There were a lot of father-daughter incest pieces followed pretty equally by mother-son and brother-sister. So I can certainly understand this rule. But it does make it difficult to market some of my pieces.
I had not written erotica in a while, having given up to pursue my career in health care. But now that my son is an adult, I have decided to begin writing again.
I would like to make it clear from the start that just because I write erotica, I am not seeking any sort of cyber-sex relationship or "hook up." I think anyone looking for such would be pretty disappointed in me. I am 45 years old and heavyset, not a sexy MILF with a killer bod, and my actual sexual tastes tend to be pretty vanilla, boring heterosexual mom and pop stuff. I had some ugly things happen to me at a young age and my childhood was pretty dysfunctional. I think that my writing might be a way to deal with some of the subconscious stuff that is stuck in my head. Plus, I have been with a wonderful man for the past four years, and we're not the "swinging" types.
As well, while I certainly appreciate thoughts about my story, I am not going to respond to sexual comments directed at ME. You can tell me that my writing is hot (thanks!) but don't tell me that I'm hot and start telling me all the stuff you'd like to do to me. Not interested. I used to get a lot of these emails when I worked on the old site and really, they did not turn me on. Quite the opposite, in fact. And how silly of these guys (it was always guys) to say they wanted to fuck me. How did they know? They didn't even know what I looked like! I've never been a raging beauty, but I was 15 years younger and 100 pounds thinner back then. So, let's skip the cyber-perv stuff and keep comments to the stories.
Having gotten that out of the way--welcome! Hope you enjoy.