Saturday, December 31, 2011

Check out Biddu Orchestra – Black Magic Man via @lastfm

Check out Kostia – Sunrise via @lastfm With love to my friends and family--this one is especially for you guys.

Check out Biddu Orchestra – Summer Of '42 via @lastfm Come on, People, let's party like it's 1976!

Oddly enough, I don't feel much like having a Rockin' New Year. I'm trying to bust through a monster writer's block & mellow serves better.

Check out Ancient Future – Valley of the Moon via @lastfm

Enough prattle--time for tunes!

You know you're getting old when your husband wants to spend his OT pay to do something nice for you & you're thinking let's fix the house.

I know he'll have some interesting stories in the AM. Being an ER nurse on New Year's eve?'s gonna be a wild ride, I'll bet.

Now that we have that straightened out--I'm home on New Year's Eve. Would be happier if my husband hadn't had to work but will play tunes.

Unless you're Borat, I'm not going to follow you back if your tagline indicates you want to make sexy time & you have a xxx URL.

Folks, if you use your butt as your profile photo, chances are I won't follow you back. Unless it's a particularly funny picture.

RT @eelkat RT @robriscoe: RT @cyf8: Repeat this affirmation all week as needed: "Murdering stupid motherfuckers will misalign my..."

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."
- Oscar Wilde
For those of us who have resolved not to fall into the annual DIE-t trap. Please show support for my friend & light a virtual candle for return of her cat. This is pretty funny.

Saturday, December 3, 2011 Tolerance: it's a beautiful thing!

@UPSjobs giving away nine $100 Zappos gift cards & up to $2K Grand Prize for U & UR friend! urtc zappos

Breaking news alert! The original Toblerones are definitely better than the dark chocolate ones. I love dark chocolate but not for Toblerone

I hope my Facebook friends have been enjoying the automated daily Buddha and fortune cookie posts. Guess it's been awhile!

Baby, it's cold outside!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Check out Headmeat – Boern' Weelei via @lastfm

Friday, October 14, 2011 Only if you love cats will you understand.

I know some people don't like having music video after music video, which is why my friends/family and I created the music pate.

I'm an awful dummy--all those music vids except for Dead Skunk were only supposed to post to the Psychotic Brain Blend page. Oops.

Now I know Germans can party more hardy than the people in this video were. They're the folks that gave us Oktoberfest, after all! Skunk: an animal that gets revenge if you kill it without even having to become a poltergeist!

Hope you have enjoyed tonight's Top Ten list of Rhythm Guitarists. There are a lot more than ten great rhythm guitarists, share your faves! John Lennon (RIP) - Hey Jude - The Beatles

She appears at the top of every god damn page! Okay, I've said my peace, let's have one more rhythym guitarist for your listening pleasure.

By the way, YouTube, I really do not give a flying rat's ass about the "girl in the smallest bikini I've ever seen." I'm kinda tired of her! Mats Björkman - Candlemass - Bewitched Ray Davies - The Kinks - Tired of Waiting K.K. Downing - Judas Priest - Love Bites Keith Richards - The Rolling Stones - Miss You

Thursday, October 13, 2011 Gary Rossington - Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird (RIP Ronnie, Steve, Cassie, Leon, Billy, Ean, Hughie) Some people don't realize that blind cats can make good pets! Read our 10 simple rules & join us at Psychotic Brain Blend Eclectic Radio on FB!

RT @huffingtonpost Russell Simmons (@UncleRush) offers 2 pay 4 cleanup of OccupyWallStreet & avoid dispute w/city This Week in Douche Analyze your beliefs. Do not believe unquestioningly. Use your head! Charles, Camilla, and Diana: Three's a Crowd

Wednesday, October 12, 2011 Eleanor Rigby

RT @huffingtonpost New study says FDA underestimated cancer risk from contaminants in seafood after BP spill Yes! I love this! Jesus is just all right w/me. Some Christians scare me though.

I've had people who don't approve of Teh Gay ask what I'd do if one of my kids came out as gay. I'd LOVE THEM just like I <3 my gay brother! Yesterday was Nat'l Coming Out Day. But you can come out today if you want!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

How the hell can I be having such a bad writers block when my subjects are vampires, a future Earth colony, and a megalomaniac dictator?

You can't ping to Typepad until you authorize your Ping account to access Typepad. Even 10 yrs ago I wouldn't have known what this means.

I made a Typepad blog Mostly made it to comment at Views from a Broad

Brain Blocked Like Slow Drain

I have no idea why I'm having so much trouble getting this story out of my head and onto the computer. The idea is interesting but it comes out stilted. The two protagonists are sisters. I don't have a terrible relationship with my sister but I don't have a great one either. I have a much better relationship with my brother, but the story wouldn't really work if they were brother and sister.
My brother knows about my writing persona. My sister knows that I write but she doesn't know about my pen name or that I've decided to try and get some of my writing published. She tends to be super practical and think that such things are a waste of time. My brother and I have always been very supportive of each other. We were the "impractical" ones in the family.
Even though I grew up in a solid two parent family, I've always had abandonment issues. Sometimes when Nils has to work and I don't I feel very unsettled. I try not to be clingy but I really miss him when he's gone. I have borderline personality disorder and while I've learned not to manifest the more negative symptoms most of the time, sometimes I know I come off as very needy. He's very patient and never berates me or even raises his voice. I don't know what I did to deserve him. He always says he picked me because I'm me. Which I've never thought is anything so great.
I showed him the picture in the post from yesterday and said that it's ironic that I thought of myself as fat and ugly but thought that the model in the picture from yesterday's post, who has a similar body type to mine, was beautiful. He said "maybe now you understand a little how I feel when looking at you." He said it so tenderly that it brought tears to my eyes. That's how he always is. Even when I know he's tired he's always very careful and deliberate in how he treats people. Even his exasperating slacker brother, of whom he's said time and again "so much potential, so little initiative." SO TRUE!
It is ironic that it took this to make me understand that my husband could actually look at me and see beautiful. And a little bit sad. This society makes it so someone who looks like me has no idea how someone else could love them even when that person tells them time and again.
My husband puts up with the fact that I get jealous and afraid that he's going to find someone better and leave me. I hold it in better than I used to when I was younger, but he knows. He never berates me the way some of my past partners have. He always upholds me and soothes my mind. When he's home late it's never because he was at a bar drinking, it's because he stopped by the store to pick up something special, whether it be a little bouquet of flowers or the fixings for a simple meal that we can have together, or a movie and popcorn.
Sometimes I feel like we are Beauty and the Beast--only he's the beautiful one.
I'm trying to see myself in a better light. The picture below looks a bit like an idealized version of me. I like to look for pictures like this that show large women as fun and attractive rather than piggish and slovenly. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful!

Why would anybody want to "subscribe" to my Facebook page? That sounds really stalker-y. I'm not famous enough to admire from afar!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Up yours, McClown. Seriously. I chance indigestion eating your questionable fare to get a couple Monopoly pieces and I get nary a one! Booo! Never been much for the whole "sexy" costume thing. I prefer funny or scary.

I Don't Need a Celebrity to Tell Me How To Feel About My Body

This isn't me, but it is a similar body type. I am five foot seven-ish. I weigh 295 pounds. I do not have any pressing health issues. According to our sizeist society, I should hardly be able to move and should have one foot in the grave thanks to my Death Fat. 

In an IVillage article, various "celebrities" spoke about body flaws. A commenter named Lisa said that if she was pulling $80 million a year, she wouldn't care about cellulite either in response to Kim Kardashian's earth-shattering confession that she has the dreaded (gasp!) cellulite.
What Lisa said. I don't need Kim KarTRASHian or any other celebutante's opinion to tell me how to feel about my body. I spent a lot of years hating my body. I learned to be at peace with it because other people's opinions don't matter. As long as I'm healthy, that's all that matters. Being hateful to one another over what our bodies look like is ugly, and it needs to stop.
BTW, I am certainly not down on Kim for the shape of her body. What I dislike about her is the fact that she is someone who has absolutely everything and gives back nothing. $30,000 alligator skin purse, anyone? In an economy where people are struggling just to keep their homes and unemployment is at an all time high. Ugh!

Why is it that when I look at my body, which is similar to this one in a mirror, my automatic reaction is to think "ugh, I'm so fat and ugly" but when I see the woman in the picture, I think she's beautiful. How dare society tell us to hate our bodies? How dare people say snarky things about fat people?

I have a back injury which makes movement harder some days than others, but it had nothing to do with my size and a hell of a lot to do with the type of work I do. I work in a hospital. I help weak and injured patients move. Sometimes its harder than others. And I've gotten hurt a few times. Last winter I exacerbated things by falling down the back porch steps. This had nothing to do with my size and a whole lot to with low visibility and ice. I was on temporary disability for 6 weeks.
I became very depressed because I couldn't work and felt useless. If the stereotypes were true, I should have been thrilled to stay home and eat buckets of fried chicken and boxes of bonbons. Instead, I could hardly eat because I was so depressed.

I'm 47 years old, I'm fat, and I've been married for 9 years to a man who eats about the same amount that I do and remains rail-thin. He is not a "fat fetishist," he dated women of various sizes before ending up with me. I consider myself extremely lucky to have him! Not because he's thin, but because he's an amazing, loving, considerate, kind, funny, intelligent human being.
The sad thing is, if I hadn't been able to find a man, (and I certainly kissed a few toads before I did) I'm sure I would have blamed my body, as we are conditioned to do. How wrong is this? How sad and how awful to go through life hating ourselves.
This is why size acceptance is necessary!

Stay outta my inbox, Spammers!

Monday, September 26, 2011

RT @chrisvoss Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth. Tame the dragon and the gift is yours quotes Noela Evans

As it turns out in life, skin and bones may heal quicker than emotional wounds. ~David Kessler It has got to stop. We have to realize that this is a real problem.

Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up. ~Jesse Jackson Bullying--gosh, it's great! (NOT!) It feels like an uphill battle but it must be fought.

RT @thevoidcomic TODAY'S COMIC: aspiring writer(or in fact any writer) comics webcomics writing amwriting

RT @chrisvoss Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas Edison Dumb da dumb dumb DUUUUUMMMMBBB!!!!

RT @flipbooks "Life is the art of drawing without an eraser" ~John W. Gardner quote

800-Year-Old Remains of Witch Discovered in a Graveyard in Tuscany, Italy (MailOnline) Archaeology News

Check out Bonnie 'Prince' Billy – When Thy Song Flows Through Me via @lastfm

Sunday, September 25, 2011 But of course I have fat jeans--they're the only kind I can fit into! ;-D

Gross but true: "As the dog returns to his vomit, so the does the fool to his folly."

Check out Horse Feathers – Walking & Running via @lastfm

Check out Great Lake Swimmers – Your Rocky Spine via @lastfm

Check out Iron & Wine – Jezebel via @lastfm I feel like Folking around tonight.

Check out Young Knives – Voices of Animals and Men via @lastfm Shout out for an up and coming artist

RT @blackaddler Bad Goys YiddishMovies
LOVE IT! Poignant thoughts from Faycin A Croud on Sly Stone. This is just magic! So full of energy, one of my favorite songs. Sad--Sly Stone homeless, living in van. So sad and makes me angry. I have heard so many horror stories about WLS, but this is the saddest.

But what we really must know is this: are Swedish sex toys dangerous? Are they too much to handle? Too funny. Really--how do they know??

Watching Killer Instinct. First thing they say is this woman was found dead with a Swedish sex toy in hand. How do they know it's Swedish?

Oh my word! What in the world has happened to Facebook? No likey!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

I just joined GoodSearch to raise money for my favorite cause when I search or shop online. Help make a difference at

Check out Go-Kart Mozart – She's a Firecracker! via @lastfm Long as she's not a firecrotch...

Check out McCarthy – I Never Knew You via @lastfm

I am running away from this cold that's trying very hard to catch me.

Check out Denim – The Zone via @lastfm

RT @psychotichumor If we all lived forever... we'd probably all become alcoholics at some point

RT @gasmithIV My favorite part of the VMA's is when I smoke the bong and listen to Pantera while not watching the VMA's. 14 year old black youth Emmett Till was murdered today in 1955 for speaking to a white woman. Fluffy is looking for a home. He is in Lindenwold, NJ

RT @ericcoliu prayer meeting/ he swats a fly/ with the Bible haiku senryu poetry micropoetry US 15 worst hurricanes since 1980

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Check out Jen Pumo – Trip via @lastfm I leave you with this young lady's lovely voice.

RT @thenewsblotter RT @femaregion1: President has declared emergency for Massachusetts due to Irene.

Though it sounds like some areas were. I never know what to say about these things. It sucks.

Good day, people. I must get ready for work. Hope nobody was too badly impacted by the hurricane.

RT @happyjourneys Norway - Mountains and Fjords via @Needimages @paul_steele Here's a guy with something extra! A bold protest against shark finning. (graphic photo)

Requesting this for a friend. Prayers/positive thoughts for HARLY A ANDREWS (5 years old) Hit by a car is in intensive care. Such a tragedy.

Check out Tuesday Delectation – Falcon McClaine via @lastfm

Friday, August 26, 2011

Check out DJ Kirill Sergeew – Mixotic 046 - Modern Classiques Vol.2 via @lastfm Very cool electric neo-jazz

Check out Jen Pumo – Two Sides via @lastfm

Check out SadQube – Broken Bits via @lastfm Pretty!

Check out hagyma – Waterfall via @lastfm Modern electronic jazz

What would Brian Boitano do if he were here right now? He'd probably kick an ass or two. That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

dear Tweeps: I do not follow spammers, cam girls, or people with an account with no Tweets. Continue to follow me or unfollow. Your choice.

I just got my official nursing license in the mail! (LPN) I'll be switching from CNA to LPN salary and position September 1! Hurray! the moral must be, don't boogie in the bone orchard! Surely the coolest news you will read today! Life is too short to be sizeist, sexist, racist, ageist or homophobic. Let's be kind.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

I'm out. Have a good day, all.

Check out Hi-Tek – Come Get It (Tekstrumentals) via @lastfm The horrific murder of this child has not yet been solved.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Check out El Da Sensei & Returners – Got Fire (feat. Doujah Raze) via @lastfm Wake up Ladies. Boyfriend not worth kids lives.

RT @flipbooks “No matter what anybody tells you, words & ideas can change the World” ~Robin Williams quote

I owe, I owe, so off to work I go. If all is dull then I will annoy you from there. I need a really long vacation really badly!

I'd almost rather fart in public than have the hiccups. Most annoying body function, and it serves no purpose whatsoever!

Sandman, you bastard! Stop avoiding my loving embrace! I finally solved the mystery of what happened to Shep the Turnpike Dog's grave! Germany, Ohio, or Florida? This one's all Florida! Here's the story behind that song. (I always wondered about it myself!) A pretty old song, Into the Night by Benny Mardones. And no, he's not a pedophile!

Going to try to go to bed. I haven't been sleeping very well lately. :-( @roselemort takes on Michele Bachmann's reactionary agenda

Thursday, July 7, 2011 So ugly, so ridiculous. They dare think themselves holy.

‎"Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." - Judy Garland Caylee's Law may prevent another travesty of justice like the Casey Anthony verdict. How to screw up a job interview

RT @gleekyjohn Yes! I wear glasses, therefore I'm cool. Suck it :3 HarryPotterLive

Found a site that offers "Christian money tips." I didn't know that Christians used different money than say, Buddhists or atheists. Wow! If you're being harassed by collectors, read This article is full of "fail," citing every stereotype. If you live w/chronic illness you may like this A clothing source for larger women, which actually uses real plus size models!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

I am unsure why Mr. Skittles believes that his back end is the one I most want to see. It's the one that he's always putting in my face!

Louie the Cat is stalking a miller moth. Get it, Louie! This is true and it's awful. Things must change! Jeez--don't these idiots have any real crimes to fight?

Rizzoli & Isles...sigh. Glamour girl cops. Can't think of any real gritty female TV cop teams since Cagney & Lacey. R&I are dress hangers.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011 Time to stock your bomb shelters, folks!

Do not want to make dinner. Contractor's finally gone so I'm hitting the store! Stouffer's lasagna: the Dinner of the Lazy.

My brother @adameverhard has always been there for me! Nothing can pull us apart. :-)*

It was in the times of my worst depressions that it seemed that everyone pulled away. Fortunately now I have a few I can rely on to stay.

I am currently a functioning mentally ill person but there were times in the past when my depression was so bad I couldn't function.

It's a sad thing that so often the people who could most use a kind word are the last to receive it. I am talking about the mentally ill.

We finally gave up on trying to refinish the basement ourselves & called a contractor. But now I can't work on anything useful for the noise Can't believe she got away w/it. Hahahaaaa! Hey @adameverhard here's the guy 4 you

I've decided to create a template for the "Horror Harridans" pic using Yahoo avatars. It will look cheesy but is a start.

Well isn't this a pretty picture--husband is passed out sleeping, family has left, and I can't sleep for anything! Typical. I hate insomnia.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Ok, enough fooling around--going back outside now!

I am a feminist. That being said, I really wish that females who portray characters would be referred to as actresses rather than actors.

Gaaaah! Fuuuck Photoshop! I'm gonna go enjoy some BBQ. @roselemort I do have a prototype image started! Helpful tools!

Anyways no matter, you do it how you like. I just wanted to say I am behind you 100% and glad you are hanging tough. You go, Girl! <3 you!

@roselemort Did you stop allowing comments on your blog? Wanted to leave one but couldn't. You all know I make no "bones" about being a person of size. And I find this just GROSS!

Guess my husband will probably be busy today. As an ER nurse he's sure to see the results of some drunken stupidity!

Well, the fireworks fuckery has just begun. Surprised they waited this long. Usually it's pop pop bang bang all day long!

Fuck's sake--do none of us Horror Harridans have any damn ability at Photoshop whatsoever? This is getting really silly! Horror Harridan Rose LeMort asserts her independence from others' rules!

Is it just me or does freaking Flash player have updates every two days???

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Those words are from a 36 year old woman w/bipolar disorder who committed suicide. They are very true.

when someone has cancer friends rally around them to help but w/ mental illness people go silent, uncomfortable judgemental, & turn away. Government benefits for individuals. (US) Legitimate grant search site not one of those ripoffs charging you to find grants. US Government grant search.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Check out Beat Generations – Punks on Chillout Drugs (instrumental) via @lastfm Jersey Shore's Newest Star!

Gawd--just peeked in the staff fridge & saw a horrifying dried up avocado that looked like some sort of mummified body part. Yech!

My son's 22 and has his own place, I just want to cook something meatless that we can all enjoy when he's visiting.

looking for good vegetarian recipes as my son has decided to become a vegetarian. Kids these days...sigh! ;-)

My cat Missy is so sweet and affectionate--and her claws are so sharp when she kneads my leg. Ouch...ouch...ouch!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

@heybarry92 I've never known anyone who can breathe thru their butt but have known plenty of people who talk out their ass! How bout adopting a black cat? They are least likely to be adopted.

Ugh! Studying for the NCLEX is the pits. Nursing programs really should devote an entire class to this rather than lame socialization class. Know someone with Crohn's? Tell them about this blog! Real-world tips for living with the disease.

Monday, May 9, 2011 May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

RT @guykawasaki Need a hand identifying the Body Snatcher Hand's Collection?

RT @happyjourneys The Top Ten World's Most On-Time Airlines: via @toptentopten

RT @reemiles Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe & stronger than you seem & smarter than you think ~ AA Milne

Why The Unemployment Rate Is About To "Fall Hard" via @themoneygame

WTF? I swear I've caught Alzheimers--I had my phone right in front of me just a second ago! (Not trying to make fun of Alzheimer's patients)

Sunday, May 8, 2011 another fun and crazy blog. For those who like offbeat humor and heavy metal. Shocking news--some people like people who are fat.

There are men who like...gasp...fat women???

I guess the Universe thought that I needed steam coming out my ears today. Here is an article in the Village Voice about PERVERTS who like...shudder....FAT WOMEN!!!!
In actuality, the article states that the "regular" men whose partners happened to be (gasp) fat did not identify as chubby chasers. But there's still that message of "why would a skinny dude date a (blech) fat chick???"
I said this on the Facebook page that linked to the article:
Um...shocker here! Fat women are people too! And some people like them. However, as a fat woman, I was always pissed off by "chubby chasers" the same way a woman with big breasts might be pissed off by a man who was only interested in her for her chest. I didn't think I'd ever get married again, but I did--to a guy who liked me for ME, not because he was obsessed with a particular type of physique. We were friends for a number of years before we became more and he had dated women of all different sizes and types including a supermodel-looking woman. Articles like this annoy me. We are all human, regardless of size or body type.

And here was my comment on the article itself:
Huh--imagine the idea that a guy might meet a woman who HAPPENED to be fat and he might decide that he likes her as a person. Gee, that's pretty damn radical right there!
I am a plus-sized woman married to an average-size man, whom I was friends with for a number of years before we became more than friends. He has never cared about a person's size. He dated a variety of women of different body types--including a supermodel type--before he and I realized we belonged together. Guess what he liked best about me--my personality. Now, there's a shocking notion!
This society is way too concerned with what is supposed to be "sexy." We are very superficial, and it's very sad. Tiki the Penguin's food guide for kids

RT @jerichotech The 5 Forgotten Keys to Extraordinary Blogging Success | Jericho Technology | One of the funniest most offbeat blogs out there! Please be kind if you visit. Don't like sending jerks.

Saturday, May 7, 2011 Fat Bottom Cabaret: Hell yeah!

RT @PA_Allentown Adopt a Dog: URGENT Momma and her Puppies Allentown PA

Night of the Lepus with DeForest Kelley on TCM. Hilarious! Rest in peace, dearest Dr. McCoy. Saw him at Star Con when I was 20. A great man! For those who've been hurt by words.

Thursday, May 5, 2011 Remember the Ritter Rules

Wednesday, May 4, 2011 Better have some Sanity Watchers points to read it.

Fuck ranch dressing. Vile snot sauce loaded with MSG--now I've got a headache. My own fault for consuming a chicken RANCH sandwich--idiot! Oh, those silly silly gays using pink tar in building!

The Media Hates Any Non-Thin Body

A response to this post about photoshopped models:

I agree with what Heather said. Also, I wanted to say that the photoshopped image on the right in the first photo is horrific. I was a teenager in the late 1970's and early 1980's, and I became bulimic because I didn't look like the photos in the magazines. Like Heather, I am also "morbidly obese," although I disagree with that term because I am not "morbidly" anything. I am basically quite healthy. I also am not the "lazy fatty" stereotype. I work a lot, on my feet. In fact, I have hardly ever met a lazy fatty.
We larger people have very few positive representations of us in the media. The so called "plus size" models are actually average size women (size 10-12) It's no wonder that girls who don't fit the "model mold" (which is most of them) have body image issues.

Apparently @ KenCuccinelli has a beard fetish. "How much would I give to be 1 of the 72 Virginans Osama is 'hanging out' with since Sunday?"

Gay Men are Not Stereotypes

This was a response to a post by Reformed Player at GuySpeak about what gay men hate about straight women.

I love hanging out with gay men. It comes easy for me, because my brother is gay. I don't think any of his crew has ever had a problem with me because I treat everyone like a human being rather than a stereotype. Like one of the commenters above, I have met a mix of people from guys who like to dress in drag and go clubbing to guys who love talking about fashion (and somehow it's more fun to talk fashion with them than with women) to quiet guys who don't "project" their sexuailty in any way. The important thing is to treat people like people and not stereotypes. I've always been welcome at the gay nightclubs because I go there to have a good time with friends. Unfortunately my work schedule is such that I don't get to do so much any more but I'm hoping that will change soon!

Helping seals who are bludgeoned to death in Canada

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Talk Dirty to Me

A response to a post at GuySpeak, where the questioner stated that her boyfriend wanted for her to talk dirty during sex but she was embarrassed.


Talking dirty isn't for everyone. But lots of people enjoy it!

I enjoy dirty pillow talk. My ex husband did not. That's not the reason he's my ex husband, but once we divorced I realized that it was just one more way that we weren't really compatible.
My current husband is Norwegian, and while I have learned some Norwegian, he could be reciting a recipe for pancake batter while we were having it off and I would still be turned on! If you've ever seen A Fish Called Wanda, it's true that for some of us anyway, being talked to in a foreign language is very sexy. 

Silent Tears

I was raised that it was immature and annoying to cry so I forced myself not to cry when anyone could see me. I was unable to cry at the funerals of any of my grandparents or my uncle. I cry in the shower or do the drivin' and cryin' thing. I hold things in and become very depressed. I think it's terrible that people are so shamed that they can't cry. It's very healing.

@matadornetwork My thought when I heard about Bin Laden's death was along the lines of it being retribution for pain his actions caused.

38 questions for those cheering Osama bin Laden’s death RT @matadornetwork Tee hee!

Monday, May 2, 2011 Ok, it's not nice to celebrate somebody's death--but this says it all! I just saw this. What can be said--good news!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

RT @CA_DMV Did you know approx. 38 kids each year die from heat related deaths from being trapped in cars? childsafety

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Wow...I really need to study my lab values.

OMG! My neighbors' kids are nice enough, but they're all out playing and hollering and screaming and giving me a bastard of a headache! The ridiculous head games we play with ourselves.

The Ridiculous Head Games We Play With Ourselves

I've heard that this tends to be a problem among creative and sensitive people. I at least have suffered with this all my life. It may have been part and parcel of growing up in a family where nothing we did was ever good enough. From my current vantage point I realize that my parents probably thought that nothing they did was ever good enough either. Nonetheless, it doesn't make it any easier. One day I'll probably go into therapy again and work on it some more.
I feel guilty when I'm doing something I want to rather than something I have to. I'm almost done with nursing school. I'll be done in just one more week. I only worked at my regular job twice this month: once on the first Saturday of the month, and will work once more tonight. My husband has been very understanding and encouraging, but I still feel guilty as hell for not drawing a paycheck--and I feel like I've been beaten with a stick. I've been working even though I haven't been working for pay, and it's been as hard or harder than my usual job. 
I want to work on my story a little but I hold myself back. I feel like I should be doing housework, but I really don't want to. I feel like I should be studying for my nursing boards, but I spent an entire day in class yesterday doing that. I know my weak areas and will probably do a little studying before I go to work. 
I hate the way I hold myself back. When I never do anything I want I tend to start feeling depressed and resentful, which isn't doing me or my family any favors. I am truly my own worst enemy and a harsher critic than either of my parents ever were--and they were both very tough bosses. My siblings and I don't see them very often, generally only on holidays. Ours was not a very nurturing upbringing. Luckily we've tended to be very supportive of each other.
My sister isn't the sort to show overt emotion, which I know has been hard for her kids in some ways. She tends to express her love through actions rather than words. I'm more demonstrative than she is with my emotions, although I'm not particularly touchy-feely either. I'll hug those close to me but I don't tend to kiss anyone except my husband, even in a non-passionate way. 
My brother is the most demonstrative of all of us when it comes to affection. He's very expressive, a somewhat flamboyant openly gay guy. I don't think my kids, especially my son, would have turned out as well as they did without their uncle's love and support. There were times when they were growing up that my emotional state did not allow me to be there for them the way they needed and deserved. But I was always open with them about what was going on, and I think that helped.
I am going to write a little and then I'll open this study program that my parents payed $350 for. I have to give them credit. Maybe in their twilight years they're trying to show their kids support in their own way.

Sometimes, we don’t like things because they remind us of ourselves, or because they make us insecure. --Julien Smith

RT @tweetsmarter Priceless Writing Lessons Learned from Scathing 1-Star Reviews on Amazon

Ladies you need to know! Women who used feminine deodorant sprays had a 90% INCREASED RISK OF OVARIAN CANCER. thanks @mirelamonte Good thoughts for people of all ages. The Princesses of York looking like a couple banshees. Thanx @hitdanback and now a special Royal surprise, thanks to @hitdanback !

Thursday, April 28, 2011's dumb double standard is a dumb-ass of the Black Eyed Peas has expressed the archaic attitude that he and a date would not be compatible if said date has condoms in her house. Because keeping condoms in your house, if you are a woman, makes your house a whore house, and you a whore. is a damn idiot. Between my first and second marriage, I always kept a couple of condoms in my purse, just in case. Just in case never actually ended up happening because I don't tend to be the kind of person to have impromptu sex with someone I don't know well. But I hate the message that this idiot is sending to young people. Time for to get his head out of the 1800's. Orly Taitz, you stupid bitch.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011 He wants a service dog? Hell to the no!

Sunday, April 24, 2011 Easy-E should rise & smite! Larry Fortensky Sickening attack. If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, encourage them to go to this site.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

It's nice to have a couple of days off and hard to make myself get off my ass and do anything with them!

Thursday, April 21, 2011 What every high school student should know. This may be the most fun you'll have all day!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011 99 relationship red flags Douchebag League

Monday, April 18, 2011

Middle Aged Weight Obsession

There is an article on the oft annoying but sometimes useful diet blog about the weight obsessions of middle aged women. Here are my thoughts.
I'm not sure why anyone would find this surprising. I came of age in the mid 1970's. Even then there was pressure to be thin, which was not how I was built. The instant I developed hips, I also developed bulimia. I have gone through years of self hate before deciding that if someone doesn't looking at my stocky self, they can look somewhere else. I have too many other things going on to worry about being obsessively vain about my looks.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

As for the ass clown who called and interrupted my nap (a rare thing in my current life) I wish you crotch rot, bothering people on Sunday. Kinda makes you wish for the Apocalypse.

The Beauty Privilege Has Its Drawbacks

Read here about why the beauty privilege isn't all privilege.

And then there's something that I can't figure out.

I'm not beautiful and never have been, but all of my life I've had guys (even guys with attractive girlfriends) hit on me and women get jealous of me and accuse me of being stuck up. I've never understood that because I'm very humble and shy by nature. I think that guys tend to be drawn to me because I'm sisterly and non-threatening. My husband says that there is something "special" about me and people are drawn to that. My brother says I'm "charismatic." At any rate it is confusing because I'm not pretty. I'm heavy and have a plain face. So this reaction she's getting may not be entirely about looks. I don't know. People are strange.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

No, Stacy London, I don't love my stilettos. Actually, I don't own any stilettos. I'm one of those crazy women who likes comfortable feet.

School Bans Packed Lunches and Snacks via @dietblog This is freaking outrageous! Talk about a Nanny State.

I refuse to answer calls from numbers I don't recognize today. This is my first day off in two weeks and I'm avoiding the Noids!

The Nerves Can Go But the Romance Should Stay

Ladies, according to the guys at GuySpeak, when a fellow acts flustered around you, it's a sign that he's into you. They go on to discuss how this disappears the longer you're together. I had a few thoughts to share.

Almost six years into our marriage (nine years into our relationship) my husband (second) still brings me flowers and says the most lovely things that I feel don't describe me at all. However, what has disappeared is the nervousness. He says these lovely things without blushing or stuttering. Having been married previously (to my grown childrens' father) I think that the relationships that keep the romance are the ones that are most likely to survive. Naturally the insecurity about making oneself vulnerable will disappear--and it should. But the romance never should or the relationship is doomed to becoming at the very least dull and at worst to destruction. The romance was muchly gone from my first marriage after our first child was born (two years in) was gone by the seventh year and third child, and had turned to animosity by the twelfth year. Both parties have to work at keeping it going--and it shouldn't feel like work!

Friday, April 15, 2011

The facility where I'm doing my LPN clinicals is wonderful. I love the staff and the residents. The food not so much. My stomach feels vile.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Oh good! I get to see this "Weather Girl" movie on LMN that I had to miss earlier today to go to clinicals! It looked pretty entertaining.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011 LOL @faycinacroud blog post about smelly revenge!

One of my cats is making me consider the need for a cat-tle prod. He is seriously misbehaving.

If you were on Facebook while reading my last Tweet, realize that I Ping everything. And 10 years ago I couldn't have imagined saying that!

If you're on Facebook, follow Rose here:

Helping my cousin @roselemort proof her galleys for what will hopefully be the last round before her book goes to press!

RT @gottalaff MSNBC: GOPers "prebut" president's speech. That would make them prebut-heads. Playing dress up doesn't turn boys gay.

Playing Dress Up Doesn't Turn Boys Gay

The Dumb Blog mentioned a controversy regarding a video where a woman paints her little boy's nails. Because there are no real problems in this world for us to worry about, this is very, very controversial. 

When my brother was little he liked playing dress up in our grandma's old clothes with me. He is gay. But when my male cousin was little he liked having my aunt put his sister's barrettes in his hair. He is a big burly macho fireman who is heterosexual. Nail polish and "girly" things don't turn a boy gay. By the way, I love my brother and he is wonderful just the way he is. He's a social worker and he's helped a lot of kids. He helped me with my own kids when I was going through a really rough period in my life. He was the #1 male figure in my son's life. My son happens to be heterosexual. Maybe if people stopped worrying so much about people being gay (they're born that way) and stopped thinking gay was abnormal, nobody would care when little boys wanted to play with dolls or have fun playing dress-up or putting on nail polish.

Ah TV world where high school students are all slim, attractive, acne free, and 25 years old. What will your next tweet be? Funny!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011 Really dumb news.

Really Dumb News

Stop the presses! This is much more important than the war in the Middle East, the earthquake in Japan, or any of that trivia. The Dumb Blog reports that:
1) Rihanna wants to spank Britney Spears
2) Some pervert convinced a bunch of vulnerable women that having sex with him was a good idea because orgasms lead to weight loss. Of course in his case having sex with him probably led to bulima, hence pounds lost from copious vomiting.
3) There is now bacon scented perfume. I'm gonna hurry out and buy me a gallon of this stuff!

Here is my further wisdom on these world-changing issues.

Yep, this thought of Rihanna's is the real deal, just like the Britney Spears/Madonna kiss was not calculated to sell albums/concert tickets. It's soooo hawt. (Rolls eyes.)
I'd say that if having an orgasm burns calories one would be better off masturbating than having sex with this skeevy pervert. Masturbation would be more likely to lead to orgasm and far, far less likely to result in social disease.
Why buy a cologne that smells like bacon? Simply eat bacon, then touch other parts of your body! It's a lot cheaper.

Monday, April 11, 2011 They murdered an innocent person. Let them rot

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Guess I'd best get up and wash my skeevy body and get ready to work at 6 AM. Yuck! I'm not by nature a morning person so these hours suck.

Started refining my story. Its been way too long since I worked on it. Decided I don't want it to be as explicit as I originally thought.

Saturday, April 9, 2011 Tyler Perry talks about being molested as child Famous men who were abused.

I like working in a medical setting but the way I'm treated by my employers can be depressing. We get good benefits/hours but little respect Is your job making you depressed?

Yet another series on "E" that I won't be watching. This one features Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom. can I pass that up? :-p

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

RT @twitbreakinnews Hanoi's Reclusive Lake Turtle Forced Out of Its Shell (

Some of my friends are going through hard times and the mean-spiritedness of others has only made them feel worse. Can't we all be nicer?

Monday, April 4, 2011 Great info on food safety

Sunday, April 3, 2011 Please check this out and support Michael.

It may sound crazy, but I'm glad it's cooler today!

RT @chrisvoss It is easier to come up with an excuse to NOT pursue your dream than to put the effort to pursue it

Monday, January 10, 2011

Blog Update and Thoughts

This blog is ostensibly an adult blog but so far I haven't done much "adult" with it. I found a site today that will allow me to share videos and I guess earn a little kickback if people actually sign up for the service, so I think I'll do that. 
I found this great blog called Fierce, Freethinking Fatties today and I commented on this post called "Real Women Don't Necessarily Have Curves."
I posted a comment on the post, which said this:
I agree with you. Of course real women come in all sizes and should be seen for attributes such as intelligence, kindness, and capability first. My (second) husband seems to be a rarity–he was not a “chubby chaser,” he liked me for myself. He had dated women of all different sizes, including one who looked like a supermodel and had the attitude to go with it, before our friendship became something more. It turned out that he wanted a woman who was interested in something besides preening and worrying if one single eyebrow hair was astray. I sometimes drive him crazy with my insecurity about my body because he genuinely likes me just as I am.

I still find myself astounded that any man would choose someone that looks like me over someone that looks something like this:

That is not her, of course, and this person may not even have the same hang-ups. I met the woman once when N was dating her. She spent the entire time making sure every hair was in place, checking her makeup, making snide remarks about the clothing choices of people who walked by, and giving advice to N's female friends (me and another co-worker) about how to lose weight and tone up. (Grrrr!) 
I still work with this other friend and every now and then we still laugh about how N ended up with one of his "horrible fat female friends" instead of Ms. Perfect. "Jo" and I are both big women, so making "fat jokes" among ourselves is par for the course, but we also try to support our right as big women not to be forced into losing weight just to please others. We are healthy. Nobody gets to tell us we "need to lose weight for our health." Bullshit. You really want us to lose weight because you're uncomfortable looking at anything that doesn't resemble your idea of what women "should" look like.
From what I remember about my meeting with "Tiffany," she was a horrible, shallow person and I always thought that my nice friend could do better. I have to admit that I was shocked when it turned out that his idea of "better" was me. 
We did run into Tiffany at a Best Buy two years after N had broken things off with her. She made nice, but I could see on her face that she was horrified, both at seeing him holding my hand and at the engagement ring on my finger. She obviously couldn't believe that her one-time boyfriend had dumped her for the "fat chick." Which he actually did not--we didn't get involved until nearly seven months after their breakup. He had a couple of arranged dates between breaking up with her and suggesting very shyly to me that he wondered if we might have "a chance at something more than friends, because you are someone I really like and enjoy to be with." 
I'll never forget those words--to this day they make me feel warm when I remember him saying them. We'd gone out for a casual dinner as friends, and he remarked that his friendship dates with me were more enjoyable than any romantic dates he had with other women. He felt he could be himself with me. 
We are trained to believe that surface beauty is everything. But a wise person who unfortunately no longer blogs (Catherine Canteri) once said that hotness won't keep you warm on a cold night when you really wish you could have a friend to talk to. 
I've told my kids that if you have a choice between a plain-looking person that you really enjoy being around and who makes you feel good about yourself, you should take that person every time over a gorgeous person who only thinks of him or her self and expects you to worship him or her because he/she is so spectacular. 
Sometimes the fat chick/guy does win--without losing weight. If someone only sees your weight, keep on walking. They're not worth your tears. That's why I never dated "chubby chasers," at least once I knew they were "chubby chasers." I did not want a guy who was only interested in my build rather than in ME!
To this day it still shocks me that my husband is a "lights on" kind of guy--and that he really seems to like what he's diving into. Not because he has a "fat girl fetish," but because he likes me--a person who happens to be fat.
Guys like this are out there--evidently. But it's like mining for gold. You have to kick aside a lot of dirt clods before you find the good stuff! And sometimes you find fool's gold, but it's not worth anything more than dirt.
If anyone is reading this and is feeling bad about their love life, take it as a sign--don't give up. You can find the gold. And it's okay to scratch the surface to make sure you're not getting fool's gold. A true "nugget" will understand your need to protect yourself!

Check out Underoath – Emergency Broadcast: The End Is Near @lastfm This is another newer band that I like.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Check out A Day to Remember – Speak Of The Devil @lastfm Sometimes I find newer stuff worth a listen, like this time.

Kids heading back to college, husband at work, me alone with my dark thoughts. That and farting cats. Crappy day, too cold to go out.

The previous info per @officialotep (Otep Shamaya) Comes as no surprise. Westboro Batshit Church = scum of the Earth.

VILE & OFFENSIVE that Westboro Baptist Church plans to protest funeral of 9yr old girl murdered yesterday. They say GOD sent the shooter.

No matter how sad one feels, the hilarious phenomenon of cat farts never fails to induce laughter. And retching.

Still grieving the loss of my uncle 6 weeks ago. It hits me especially on a dark day like this.

As you search the waves for love and your visions for a sign the knot of tears around your throat is crystallizing into your design. RIP Unk